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5 Sneaky Marriage Saboteurs

An affair won't screw up your marriage. "If you're tempted to have an affair, your marriage is already in trouble," says relationship expert Steven Stosny, Ph.D., the author of Love without Hurt. The good news: People don't become cheaters overnight. If you're in it till death do you part—that's what you told the minister, right?—watch for these five signs that your union may be unraveling.

30 Secrets every woman keeps from her man. 1. Busy Mornings
Don't walk out the door without a see-you-later kiss. "Skin-on-skin contact releases oxytocin, which lowers stress and makes you feel connected," says Patricia Love, Ed.D., coauthor of How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It. "When a man is touch-deprived, this need becomes sexualized, making his wife think he just wants sex, and creating more tension."

Live Happily Ever After: Set aside 1 minute a day. "It takes only a few seconds of skin-on-skin contact a few times a day to start oxytocin production," says Love. Just a kiss in the morning, a hug after work, and another kiss before bed can produce a lasting feeling of intimacy—and save your marriage.

2. Your Bedroom
An exhausted brain is an antagonistic one. "When we're tired, our brains use anger to create energy," says Stosny. "So you start arguments seeking a rush."

Live Happily Ever After: Don't nod off with the TV on. "A bright room keeps your brain awake," says Stosny. Also make sure your curtains are thick enough to block out early-morning sunlight, and turn the alarm clock away from you. "People with sleep disturbances tend to be clock watchers," Stosny says. "Calculating the numbers on a digital clock stimulates left-brain activity and the production of cortisol, a stimulant."

3. Her Mirror
Sure, you love her intelligence and sense of humor. But make sure she knows you love her smokin' hot body as well. "If a woman's body image is low," says Love, "she'll feel less passionate and sexual."


Live Happily Ever After: Yes, compliment her, but here's the trick: "Do it in public," says Love. "It'll emphasize your commitment, making her feel more secure and ultimately improving her body image."

4. Her Promotion
A recent Cornell University study found that men who earn less than their wives are more likely to cheat. "Guys have always been seen as the primary breadwinners," says Love. "Many men feel weak when that changes, so they go searching for an ego boost."

Live Happily Ever After: Remember the golden rule of management: Hire well. It also applies to relationships. Remind yourself what a smart guy you were for picking such a competent woman, says Love.

5. Dirty Dishes
In a recent Montclair State University study of nearly 7,000 married couples, sexual frequency increased 0.06 percent a year for every 1 percent increase in weekly housework that husbands handled. The average woman without kids does 10 hours more housework a week than her husband. So if you picked up 5 additional hours, it would yield nine additional romps in the hay each year. Not a bad investment!

Live Happily Ever After: Grab a dishrag already. "Too much housework, like anything that causes stress, decreases bloodflow to the genitals," says Love. "Approach her at the sink and say, 'I'll take care of that.' Your reward will come later."

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