Become a Lie Detector
Warning: sometimes ignorance is bliss; after gaining this knowledge, you may be hurt when it is obvious that someone is lying to you.
Introduction to Detecting Lies:
The following techniques to telling if someone is lying are often used by police and security experts. This knowledge is also useful for managers, employers, and for anyone to use in everyday situations where telling the truth from a lie can help prevent you from being a victim of fraud/scams and other deceptions.
Signs of Deception:
Body Language of Lies:
• Physical expression will be limited and stiff, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movement are toward their own body the liar takes up less space. |
• Hands touching their face, throat & mouth. Touching or scratching the nose or behind their ear. Not likely to touch his chest/heart with an open hand.
Emotional Gestures & Contradiction
• Timing and duration of emotional gestures and emotions are off a normal pace. The display of emotion is delayed, stays longer it would naturally, then stops suddenly.• Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words. Example: Someone says "I love it!" when receiving a gift, and then smile after making that statement, rather then at the same time the statement is made.
• Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”
• Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe, )instead of the whole face. For example; when someone smiles naturally their whole face is involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc.
Also see our article on micro expressions & lying.
Interactions and Reactions
• A guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will often go on the offensive.• A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away.
• A liar might unconsciously place objects (book, coffee cup, etc.) between themselves and you.
Verbal Context and Content
• A liar will use your words to make answer a question. When asked, “Did you eat the last cookie?” The liar answers, “No, I did not eat the last cookie.”•A statement with a contraction is more likely to be truthful: “ I didn't do it” instead of “I did not do it”
• Liars sometimes avoid "lying" by not making direct statements. They imply answers instead of denying something directly.
• The guilty person may speak more than natural, adding unnecessary details to convince you... they are not comfortable with silence or pauses in the conversation.
• A liar may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone. When a truthful statement is made the pronoun is emphasized as much or more than the rest of the words in a statement.
• Words may be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and grammar may be off. In other
words, his sentences will likely be muddled rather than emphasized.
• The use of distancing language.
Other signs of a lie:
• If you believe someone is lying, then change subject of a conversation quickly, a liar follows along willingly and becomes more relaxed. The guilty wants the subject changed; an innocent person may be confused by the sudden change in topics and will want to back to the previous subject.• Using humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.
Eye Direction and Lying
Eye Movement and Direction & How it Can Reveal Truth or Lies
This is a continuation of our previous article " Detecting Lies". Many comments by our visitors have asked about how eye direction can indicate the presence of a lie.So can the direction a person's eyes reveal whether or not they are making a truthful statement? Short answer: sort of. But, it isn't as simple as some recent television shows or movies make it seem. In these shows a detective will deduce if a person is being untruthful simply because they looked to the left or right while making a statement.In reality, it would be foolish to make such a snap judgment without further investigation... but the technique does have some merit. So, here it is... read, ponder and test it on your friends and family to see how reliable it is for yourself.
Visual Accessing Cues
When asked a question a "normally organized" right-handed person looks (from your viewpoint, looking at them):
Up and to the Left
Indicates: Visually Constructed Images (Vc)
If you asked someone to "Imagine a purple buffalo", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Visually Constructed" a purple buffalo in their mind.
Up and to the Right
Indicates: Visually Remembered Images (Vr)
If you asked someone to "What color was the first house you lived in?", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Visually Remembered" the color of their childhood home.
To the Left
Indicates: Auditory Constructed (Ac)
If you asked someone to "Try and create the highest the sound of the pitch possible in your head", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Auditorily Constructed" this this sound that they have never heard of.
To the Right
Indicates: Auditory Remembered (Ar)
If you asked someone to "Remember what their mother's voice sounds like ", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they "Auditorily Remembered " this sound.
Down and to the Left
Indicates: Feeling / Kinesthetic (F)
If you asked someone to "Can you remember the smell of a campfire? ", this would be the direction their eyes moved in while thinking about the question as they used recalled a smell, feeling, or taste.
Down and To the Right
Indicates: Internal Dialog (Ai)
This is the direction of someone eyes as they "talk to themselves".
The Gist of it...
How this information is used to detect lies:
Example: Let's say your child asks you for a cookie, and you ask: "Well, what did your mother say?" As they reply "Mom said... yes.", they look to the left. This would indicate a made up answer as their eyes are showing a "constructed image or sound. Looking to the right would indicated a "remembered" voice or image, and thus would be telling the truth.Notes:
*** Looking straight ahead or with eyes that are defocused/unmoving is also considered a sign of visual accessing.Body Language and Flirting
Only 7% of communication is verbal communication.
38% of it depends on our intonation, or the sound of our voice. For instance: A shaky, uneven voice may suggest that a person is shy, intimidated, or dishonest. A clear, loud voice may indicate that a person is confident. The largest chunk of communication is body language, which takes up the remaining 55%. These statistics show that a person who knows how to control their body and voice is considered more appealing than someone who knows only a mouthful of pick-up lines and crowd pleasers.
The impression we make on others starts not when we first open our mouth, but with our posture, breathing, appearance, and movement. Also see MicroExpressions .
Art and Science of Flirting and Body Language
The art of flirting is expressed with actions. And non-verbal communication is more important than words. Although flirting signals are rarely noticed consciously -- the message is always sent across.Eye Contact and Triangulation
Our actions (body language) reflects our interest in various ways. In general, these actions manifest by instinct when we are facing people that we admire. For example, in intimate conversation, people usually look at each other's eyes.Sometimes we shift our vision from one eye to the other, and to the bridge of the nose. This is what is called the triangular formation of vision. As a person becomes more interested in another, this triangular formation extends downward. Some say that it’s rude to look at a stranger’s body, but when you really think about it, people really can’t help it when they feel attracted.
When people are talking to mere acquaintances, they simply look at their eyes, but when people are interested in someone, they tend to notice a lot more than just the eyes and the nose. Also... looking at the someone's mouth can suggest interest in kissing.
Mirroring
We can make others feel comfortable by mirroring or matching their mood. When two people enjoy similar things, they tend to move in sync with each other. This does not mean that every single move they make is exactly the same, but rather that their moods are the same.| Flirting Quickies (for our lazy readers) Male Flirting Signals: - hands on belt or belt buckle - preening / grooming - stretching (and other actions that make him seem bigger) Female Flirting Signals: - actions that make her appear smaller - playing with hair - exposure of neck or inner wrists General Flirting Signals: - eye contact- mirroring - triangulation - "accidental" touching |
Other Flirting Signals
When people are interested in the person they’re talking to, they tend to face the person more. This is also noticeable in a person’s arms and legs. When a person’s attention is completely focused on another, their legs, knees, or feet are always extended in the direction of the other person. Another common signal are the pupils of our eyes. When people like what they see, their pupils increase in size, and tend to blink more. Eyes can blink in sync when looking into the eyes of the person they like.Male Body Language and Flirting
Aside from general body language, there are also signs specific to males and to females when they show their interest in a potential mate. When a man notices a woman he finds attractive, he may suck in his gut, flex his muscles, and other postures that cause him to appear taller and stronger.A man shows his readiness to get involved by putting his hands on his hips, or putting his thumbs behind his belt. Most men do this to appear macho and posed, but a commonly unknown fact is that this action also highlights the genital region sending the message:
“I’m virile.”
Men do other things like smoothing their hair, and fixing ties, to make them look their best. Men do these while women are watching to show their interest.
Read more about Male Body Language
Female Body Language and Flirting
The actions of women, on the other hand, are more subtle but very sexy in the eyes of men. A woman can make a man desire her more by exposing the skin of her neck.When a woman tosses her hair from one side to the other, the gesture appears more intentional, and is often followed by a well directed intimate gaze.
The same thing goes when a woman exposes the thin skin on her wrist. Both actions appeal to men saying, “I want to show you more.” Women can very well play with men’s minds by doing little things like wiping off their sweat, and fondling with their hair, fingers, and feet.
The most appealing sign a woman can give is to sit with one leg pressed on top of the other. This gesture makes the legs appear very well toned. A hand on the thigh completes the position and is definitely considered a call for the attention.
Whenever people show their interest, an exchange takes place. When a mutual confirmation is established, one of them then makes the first move to approach. Body language makes up a very big part in the first moments of courtship, and may determine if people become more intimate.
*** A typical left-handed person would have the opposite meanings for their eye-directions.
*** As with other signs of lying, you should first establish and understand a persons base-behavior before concluding they are lying by the direction of their eyes.
*** Many critics believe the above is a bunch of bull***t.
In my own experiments I have found these techniques to be more true than not. But, why not find out for yourself? Make up a list of questions that like the sample ones, and give them to your friends/family anyone who would be your guinea pig, observe their eye movements and record the results.
*** This guide is hardly in-depth, I recommend getting the book "Frogs into Princes: Neuro Linguistic Programming" by Richard Bandler and John Grinder for a more thorough explanation if the subject interests you.
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